How can technology serve human-human couples from an intimate and sensual point of view?

Can we use innovation to spice up this Valentine’s Day?

Often times, when we think about romantic relationships and artificial intelligence the first thing that comes to mind is human-robot relationships. Ex-Machina and HER may trigger both curiosity as well as fear of what these developments could mean for humanity (thanks Hollywood!) However, AI is already present in many aspects of our relationships in a much subtler way. Dating apps utilize AI to help singles “swipe right” on what it recognized as your “best matches”, hoping they will build a long-lasting connection, or at least have some fun. AI can also predict whether a couple will stay together with a 79.3% accuracy by recording and analyzing the cadence, tone, length of intervention, etc while the couple has a conversation.

Marta Plaza and her team at Desire Technologies decided to capitalize on AI to enhance and facilitating healthy, long-lasting, and may I say spicier relationships. Desire app is a love game for couples that aims to enhance date nights through real-life, sexy “challenges” that help strengthen human-human relationships.

At Desire, AI serves human-human couples from an intimate, sensual and communicative point of view. Their technology analyzes how the human brain thinks, decides, and behaves while playing and communicating with a partner, and then uses the outcomes of this analysis as the basis for developing intelligent game dynamics that can predict what the partner might want at a specific time, maybe some words of encouragement or some sweet messages.

Apps like Desire help couples begin what can sometimes be an awkward conversation: the necessity to manufacture spontaneity, novelty and desire in one’s sex life. This is especially helpful for couples who have been together for a long time and need to be intentional about playfulness in their intimate lives, as could also serve newer couples who might feel shy about bringing up fantasy or certain desires.  When couples are busy or overwhelmed with their day to day, it could be very helpful to have a resource that can help build anticipation, as well as jog and inspire their erotic minds. Desire can help people stay erotically engaged and there is much evidence to support that gamification helps in behavior change – why not in the bedroom?, says Shula Melamed, MA MPH, Relationship and Wellbeing Coach.

At A Time When Long-term, Monogamist, Relationships Seem Unattainable, AI Comes To The Rescue

It’s been well-researched that couples that have sex with a frequency that both partners estimate as satisfactory – whether that’s 4 times a week or 2 a month – experience benefits like increased overall happiness and wellbeing, developing a stronger bond with the partner, and a higher likelihood of staying together. However, cultivating this balance is one of the trickiest challenges, as long-term partners juggle responsibilities and obligations.

Love relationships are wonderful and sometimes we forget to take care of them and enjoy them. Plaza, says “it’s important to play and make the time to enjoy each other. The app enhances communication with your partner and gives you tools and ways to connect in real life, discovering desires together and creating great spicy and romantic memories. It’s a way to remember how important your relationship is. Our wish is to make happier relationships!”

Generally, there is a negative bias, a sense that technology will interfere with authenticity and create a literal barrier—our screens—in our ability to connect intimately. Many couples I work with complain about this. From this perspective, AI is a double-edged sword—it can be the cause of people feeling more isolated and less intimately capable (Millennials are having less sex than any generation in recorded history, if you haven’t heard), but it can also be the cure, says Holly Richmond,  Ph.D., Psychologist and Sex and Relationship Therapist.

Novelty is the seat of human desire and arousal which presents a big opportunity for AI, as it has the ability to facilitate adventure and playfulness in long-term relationships. “I appreciate that Desire helps couples feel connected, integrating novelty through games and actions. AI will best serve human to human relationships if it is used as an augmentation for intimacy, not a replacement for it ”, added Richmond.

In a time where we might feel more isolated than ever, it’s time for the next tech wave: Augmented intimacy .

As the scene unfolds, it moves from massage, to oral, to penetration, all accompanied by kissing, caressing and compliments, masterfully choreographed by Los Angeles-based sex therapist, Dr. Holly Richmond. She’s pioneering a new wave of virtual reality porn, focusing on sex-edutainment, training women to explore every kink and fantasy in a safe space. “This is Virtual Sexology, season two,” she says. “Women have desires that need to be explored and these videos are a way for them to experiment and enjoy themselves — it’s a more intimate experience.” The actresses certainly enjoy themselves. “Normally, I run to shower after a shoot,” says porn star and former HBO presenter Katie Morgan, as she leans against the wall, stretching out her tanned lean legs post-shoot. “But I don’t feel dirty now, I feel satisfied.”

This porn is a sequel; the first released in the Virtual Sexology series was male focused, teaching men ways to control and prolong their orgasm. It’s  currently the most downloaded virtual reality video BaDoink has ever made (out of 500+ films). But today’s shoot flips the script — it’s all about the woman’s pleasure. A new space for porn company BaDoink VR, but one they say is growing. “This is the year of women and VR porn,” says director Dinorah Hernandez. “Most of our videos are made for men 18-30, but women are starting to be more open about their sexual fantasies — and VR —  and this explores that.” This is true industry wide— women make up around  26% of all visitors to porn aggregator PornHub, and searches for virtual reality porn have risen over 650% in the last year. Researchers at Newcastle University recently published research discussing how VR porn could be problematic — but adding that if done correctly, it could benefit men and women alike, opening them up to new experiences and greater personal freedom. “In our research, we also saw suggestions that VR could deliver more embodied sensory experiences, with more emphasis on subtlety and the relational aspects of sexual experiences,”  writes researcher Matthew Wood.

Around this time last year, I penned a piece about the lack of virtual reality adult content targeted at women, but I’m glad to say that’s not the case anymore. No doubt, it’s still a hugely male dominated content space, but as demand has grown for VR porn from all types of consumer, a growing number of female directors are stepping up and creating female focused content.

“We launched maybe a week after your piece came out,” Lily Campbell, the Portland based director and producer for Yanks VR, tells me. Yanks VR is part of the Yanks.com porn empire, which she’s been part of since 2009. Yanks’ whole schtick is that they’re about real sex and that all the orgasms you see are genuine. Their tagline is 100% female produced, 100% real girls and real orgasms. The women on the website are stunning, but they’re also very real — more diversity in body shape, skin color and tattoos then you’d find elsewhere. And real doesn’t mean poor quality; these are glamorous amateurs who like playing up to the camera.

But Campbell, 32, wanted to push the envelope further, and offering VR content seemed like the next logical step. As more and more companies started creating VR porn, she realized there was a wide range of quality; from professional shoots to amateur efforts with blurry shots and vomit inducing motion swings. She found that the wide majority of this content was aimed at men — suggesting there was space for something new. While Yanks isn’t strictly a for women website (it’s designed to appeal to all genders) their aesthetic and focus on female pleasure makes it tick all the right feminist boxes.

However, producing VR isn’t just about buying a VR rig and going wild, and she found the learning curve steep,  experimenting with a number of different VR setups to get it just right. Campbell knew that having a good experience would be the deciding factor in people sticking around to watch more, and this came from personal experience. “The first time I tried an Oculus headset on I was turned off,” she says. “I got nauseous. But I could see the cool and creative possibilities of it and it became apparent it had a huge potential in the adult market.” She’s had to change her whole way of working to integrate VR — she shoots her VR scenes around six times a month with three to five videos per day and her regular scenes on different days.

By Zara Stone