Holly Richmond, a clinical sex therapist, says the best time to have pregnancy sex is during the second trimester, as this is when the queasiness and discomfort of the first trimester is (usually) over and your belly still hasn’t reached peak size.

Enjoying sex throughout your pregnancy also often has to do with the position. A 2010 study revealed that those who achieved the most sexual satisfaction during pregnancy sex, opted for specific positions, such as those that are abdominally supportive.

If you’re hoping to achieve great sex during those nine months ahead, here are a few pregnancy sex positions to give a try that are doctor-approved. But, if you’re ever unsure of feeling uncomfortable be sure to chat with your doctor about what might be best for you and your body!

Froggy Style

This is basically doggy style, but the person who is pregnant will position themselves on their forearms, rather than their hands. This may be preferable earlier on in the pregnancy, since balancing on all fours can be a challenge once your bump is more of a presence. Make sure your stomach feels comfortable and adjust or add pillows accordingly!

Spooning

Lie comfortably with your knees bent and have your partner come from behind. As we’ve noted before, this position lets the partner being penetrated control the depth of penetration (just curling your legs can make all the difference). Plus, you can easily add toys to the mix for added stimulation and fun.

Side by Side

For this position, you’ll lie facing each other, as the pregnant person’s top leg is kept straight and to the side. Your partner will slide their leg over and enter at an angle. This helps in keeping any weight from coming down on the belly.

Cowgirl

An empowering fave for many, this position allows the pregnant person to be on top and control the intensity of stimulation.

Non-penetrative

Maybe it’s one of those days when maybe you’re not feeling your best or penetrative sex is feeling a bit more on the uncomfy side. But if you find yourself still in the mood for some action, oral sex and mutual masturbation are certainly safe and sexy options that seldom disappoint.

Edge of the Bed/Chair

Pull up a seat! For this position, one partner can sit on the edge of the bed or chair, while the partner being penetrated can sit down facing away. It’s basically backwards riding and can leave your partner’s hands free for other activities.

That means if you’re always finishing first or you’re too set in making yourself feel good rather than pleasing your partner too, you could definitely be getting a bit greedy and turning your partner off. And if it becomes a pattern, you might just have to say goodbye to a partner who’s feeling unsatisfied in the relationship. Bummer.

To make sure that doesn’t happen to you, be careful to avoid these little signs you might be selfish in bed, and your sex life is sure to get hotter — when you’re both experiencing those killer orgasms.

You don’t ask what they like

How we express ourselves sexually falls within an enormous spectrum, so assuming your partner likes what you like is at best naive and at worst selfish. “Everyone likes to be touched differently — for example, light, medium, hard or rough — and sex for many people doesn’t have anything to do with penetration. Stay curious so you don’t stay selfish,” Dr. Holly Richmond, somatic psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist, tells SheKnows.

You aren’t intimate

“You don’t know — or care — how important intimacy is to your partner. Like sex, intimacy will mean a million different things to a million different people,” Richmond says. It’s best to see how often they like to be touched and to focus on little ways to make the experience more personal.

According to Richmond, many people need intimacy to have great sex, which might mean talking to their partner and feeling understood, having their partner do things for them so they feel special or even spending a significant amount of time doing things together that feel intimate and not necessarily sexy.

You never compliment them

Sure, you don’t need to say how great your partner is every second during sex, but here and there, saying something feels good or they have a great talent for a specific technique shows you care about them and want them to feel good too.

“Everyone enjoys hearing what they are doing right, and this is especially true when it comes to sex. Many people have social anxiety, intimacy issues or a lack of confidence and experience in bed,” Richmond explains.

Telling your partner what they’re doing right will give them the sexual agency and competency they need to feel sexually empowered, and they’ll keep it up, so you’ll reap those rewards over and over. “A nice compliment might even work as a turn-on too,” she adds.

You always finish first

If you always have an orgasm before your partner, this can signal that you prioritize your pleasure over your partner’s, says Richmond. “In addition to being self-serving, having a routine where you always finish first can be boring,” she notes. “Mix it up and don’t worry 100 percent of the time about your orgasm; rather, look for and experience all of the different forms of pleasure the sexual experience offers.”

You don’t help them orgasm even if you did

Don’t just grab a snack or roll over for a nap once you’re done. “I see so many couples in my office because of this problem, and to me, this is one of the worst kinds of selfish,” Richmond explains. “Essentially, one partner finishes (and typically that partner is always the first to finish), but then doesn’t ask or care how they can help their partner have an orgasm or continue experiencing pleasure even if an orgasm isn’t on the table. It’s like, ‘I got mine; you’ll have to take care of yourself.’”

Try to talk before you start having sex to find out what your partner really likes that helps them experience an orgasm. Then you can focus on those in bed during sex or once you’ve finished to get them there too.

You’re not open to their suggestions

It’s good to be proactive about spicing up your sex life, but you have to accomplish it in a way that is inclusive to both partners — not just yourself. Make sure to listen to your partner and take their suggestions seriously, and definitely don’t shame them in any way for asking to try something new.

You refuse to communicate

If one partner has an idea and the other shoots it down without discussing why they are opposed, it comes off as selfish and unfair. Or the opposition is so severe that you end up telling your partner that their idea was really crazy.

Instead, if there’s something about a sex act or position — say, anal sex, for instance — that makes you uncomfortable, make your partner aware of it. That doesn’t mean you must try anal sex if you really don’t want to, but be a partner that is willing to open up a conversation about their desires and don’t punish them for having such urges. You may also want to try a yes/no/maybe list activity with your partner to have an open discussion about everything they’re willing — and unwilling — to try.

The good news is that if you recognize a lot of this selfish behavior as your own, there’s plenty of time to turn things around. Your partner will thank you, and knowing they’re enjoying themselves may make it even better for you too.