By Elena Sheppard

For many people, there are few things in the world more awkward than the thought of having a sex conversation with their parents. There is just something deeply and profoundly uncomfortable about it. But embarrassment aside, should you do it? Should you cross that final conversational frontier and talk to your parents about intercourse?

If your answer is yes, and talking to your parents feels like something you want to do, here are a few relatively pain-free ways to jump into the conversation — no matter what stage of life you’re in.

Having sex for the first time

If you have never been sexually active, talking to your parents about sex can feel totally daunting — but the truth is their advice might actually be invaluable. If you think specifically about what you want to get out of the conversation, it can make having it that much easier. Maybe you want to see a gynecologist, or you want to go on birth control and need their help, or you’re thinking about losing your virginity and want their advice. Spend some time really thinking about what you want to say, and the conversation will be that much easier and more productive.

The other piece of advice? “Cut your parents some slack,” says Dr. Holly Richmond a Somatic Psychologist and Certified Sex Therapist. “One of my favorite sayings, at least with my kids, is ‘what’s my job?’ And they say, ‘To keep me safe.’” Her point? No matter your age, your parents just want to keep you safe, so if they seem overbearing or protective just remember their top priority is your health and safety. And if you want a little cheatsheet on where to begin this conversation, LOLA’s sexual wellness kit is a great anatomy and sexual health resource.

Having sex for pleasure

Talking to your parents about sex for pleasure can be awkward territory, but the reality is, sex for pleasure can be a big part of life. Dr. Richmond warns, this conversation might be hard to broach. “I’m a sex therapist and it’s still difficult,” she says of her experience with her own parents. “But it’s a practice. The first time probably won’t go well, but keep trying, keep practicing, and also know yourself and how comfortable your parents will be. If you were raised super religious and they are still religious, talking about sex will never be easy.” Dr. Richmond also encourages parents who are talking to their kids about sex to talk about pleasure as much as pregnancy. “It’s silly to try and talk to kids like all sex is about is making babies,” she says. “Because [for me] that’s not true.”

Trying to get pregnant

If you’re at a point in your life when you’re trying to get pregnant, talking to your parents about sex and their own fertility experience can be very educational. “Fertility is more comfortable for people to discuss with their parents because they are now both adults and they are not directly speaking about sex,” says Omaha-based sex therapist Kristen Lilla. “Fertility is a sensitive subject for many, particularly infertility. I think the best advice for having these conversations is to be open and honest, non-judgmental, and to allow yourself to be vulnerable.”

Dr. Richmond reiterates Lilla’s point, adding that information about your parents fertility and birthing experience can be key to understanding your own. “Find out about your birth story, find out if your parents had a hard time conceiving, were you with your mom immediately on her chest after you were born or were you rushed to the NICU? Were why were those decisions made?” Dr. Richmond says. The answers can help you to map out your own birthing plan or navigate fertility issues.

Bottom line, no matter what stage of life you’re at, talking to your parents about sex might come with uncomfortable pauses, but lots of benefits too. Sex can be an amazing part of life and shouldn’t be taboo, so talk to your parents about it. Who knows, the conversation could be way helpful than you think.

By Elena Sheppard

‘Tis the season to conceive.

According to statistics, the three most common birth dates in America are found in mid-September; specifically the 16, 9 and 17. Now go ahead and subtract nine months from that, and you’ll find yourself smack dab in the middle of winter. What that means when it comes to sex, pregnancy, and gestation periods is that the time between Thanksgiving and New Year’s is the most common time of the year to conceive — statistics find December 17 as the single-most popular conception day in this country, if we’re being exact. December 27 comes in a close second, and nine out of the top 10 most popular conception dates of the year are nestled in the last two weeks of December.

There are a handful of reasons why this is the case: workloads lessen around the holidays, which means people spend more relaxed time at home and together. Sex is also often more enticing in the cold of winter than the heat of summer, and studies even suggest that sperm quality improves in lower temperatures helping to facilitate pregnancy.

Other studies attribute the spike in pregnancies to the festive spirit of the season. As one report from Obstetrics & Gynecology reads: “Increased sexual activity associated with end-of-year holiday festivities has also been postulated.” Or as somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist Dr. Holly Richmond says, this time of year can be sexually energizing. “Novelty is such a big piece of most people’s sexuality,” Dr. Richmond notes. And it goes without saying that the holidays feel different than the rest of the year.

If babies are being conceived in high numbers in December, it should also be noted that fewer babies are born during that time of the year. The least popular birth months are December and January, with some people guessing that parents are inclined to induce labor before the holidays rather than risk going into labor while their doctors themselves are off celebrating.

All that said, don’t feel bad if the holidays have the opposite effect on your sex drive and actually lower your libido. “Everyone is different. For some people, the time off and cold weather can bring you together. But for others, the holidays can be too stressful with travel, family, and guests,” says Andrea Barrica, founder of O.school an online resource for sexuality and dating.

Dr. Richmond agrees saying that while this time of year might enhance some people’s sex lives, for others, the opposite occurs. “Normal anxiety that people might be struggling with can be amped up during the holidays,” she says. Adding that many find themselves dealing with a sense of “dread” over the holidays that is not conducive to sex.

However the holidays make you feel, there is evidence in the numbers: it’s the season of baby-making. And in December, love is certainly in the air.