By Dr. Holly Richmond

By Rachel Varina

Whether you’re single, dating, or have been with the one for what feels like ever, keeping things spicy is ultra important. This is because sex and intimacy not only build connection, but orgasms themselves have major health benefits from lower blood pressure and reducing stress. Plus they feel pretty fantastic too—a great bonus.

Best Libido Gummies

1. Desire Gummies from Dame
2. Libido Gummies from Maude
3. Sex Gummies from House of Wise Co
4. WonderDay Mushroom Gummies from Plant People
5. Delta-8 Gummies from Delta North

But what about if you just don’t feel that urge? The one to pull your partner into the bedroom or turn down the lights with your favorite vibrator. In these situations, libido gummies could be the answer you’ve been looking for.

You see, a decrease in libido and arousal can occur for a large number of reasons such as hormone imbalances, stress, and anxiety. And while it’s definitely a good idea to check in with your doctor, sometimes the roadblock that’s hindering you from wanting sex is mental over physical. But maybe work is getting to you or you’re simply feeling uninspired and less joyful. In these situations, libido gummies could be just what you need to reignite that passion.

For more on why, I spoke with licensed marriage therapist and member of Dame’s clinical board, Holly Richmond, PhD. She explained anything that reduces stress will naturally create easier access to your libido. “Stress and desire exist on opposite ends of the pleasure spectrum,” Dr. Richmond says. “It’s impossible to feel desire and arousal if you feel stressed.”

While some stressors—like a big work project—might be temporary, others—such as family relationships or general anxiety—simmer in the background at all times. That’s why libido gummies that support your overall health and promote relaxation are major for reigniting that spark within yourself. These little, candy-like bites help create a sense of ease, relaxation, and yup, desire, that make it so much easier to not only be present in any sensual moment, but crave it as well.

That’s why we’re outlining everything you need to know about these nifty little supplements. From what to look for in libido gummies to the best libido gummies to buy, read on for one of our favorite—and most delicious—arousal hacks around.

@YULIASIS VIA TWENTY20

 

What actually are libido gummies?

Like most gummy supplements, libido gummies are daily (sometimes twice daily), chewable tablets. They’re usually pretty tasty—oftentimes fruit-flavored—to the point that you’ll have to stop yourself from wanting to casually munch on them.

Dr. Richmond says typically when you take them, you’ll feel calmer, grounded, and less impacted by stress. “[This] leads to feeling closer and more connected to your sexual self or your partner(s),” she explains. “You may feel horny, but more likely you’ll notice you have a desire for sex and pleasure.” Essentially, these supplements help take away the roadblocks that hinder you from desire. “People notice more openness to sex and have the motivation, energy, and enthusiasm to explore pleasure and connection in the ways that feel most healthy to them,” Dr. Richmond adds.

How do libido gummies work?

The key with most libido gummies is that they help reduce stress while improving relaxation and mood. “Numerous studies point to stress as the primary inhibitor of sexual desire,” Dr. Richmond says. “When people experience stress, their body produces more adrenaline and cortisol, which typically creates a state of fight or flight. When someone’s nervous system is hyperaroused in a fear state, it is almost impossible to access pleasure in an integrated way, where their mind and body are on the same page.”

Additionally, stress can cause you to feel overwhelmed and freeze, Dr. Richmond adds, which oftentimes makes it feel impossible to reach arousal, channel desire, or experience sexual pleasure. Some gummies work in as quickly as 45 minutes for a boost, while others you have to take for a few weeks before you notice the long-lasting results.

Whichever route you go, Dr. Richmond suggests looking for products with natural ingredients like ashwagandha, horny goat weed, and maca root that support mood and decrease stress/anxiety.

It’s important to note that some gummies include ingredients such as THC or CBD which could elevate heart rate or blood pressure, so make sure to chat with your doctor and get the go-ahead before starting any new supplements.

Who are libido gummies good for?

Simply put, Dr. Richmond says libido and arousal gummies are good for “anyone who would like to decrease stress and anxiety, improve their mood and increase sexual desire.” Typically, these supplements are marketed for and geared toward women.

“In my practice, the complaint I hear most often from women is a lack of desire for sex,” Dr. Richmond explains. “They want to want! Sexual health is an essential part of overall health, and these gummies give women more access to feeling like their whole, healthy, and empowered sexual self.”

As you’re looking through different options, you might come across “arousal” or “desire” gummies as well. Dr. Richmond says there’s a difference, so you’ll want to consider your needs when shopping. “Libido falls more squarely into the category of desire, which I describe as the psychological process of wanting. When people feel desire and notice their libido, they are experiencing an openness to and interest in sex and pleasure,” she explains. “Arousal, on the other hand, is more body-based. I describe arousal as the physiological process of wanting. Arousal is what happens as a result of feeling desire, which often includes physical effects like lubricating, getting an erection, butterflies in your stomach, or your heart beating faster, for example.”

So whether you’re looking to increase your libido or arousal, there’s likely a tasty gummy that can help.

If you’re ready to dive into the world of libido gummies, you’re in luck! We’ve rounded up five of the best supplement options that’ll make you feel almost as great as they taste.

By Sophie Saint Thomas

By Devon Barrow

By Devon Barrow

By Devon Barrow

Masturbation used to be a hush-hush topic saved for private conversations. But these days, as we’re rinsing shame out of sexuality, the holistic importance of sexual pleasure has come into full view. Backed by tons of positive science and research, we’re finally starting to see masturbation for what it really is: a wellness practice.

We tend to think of wellness as green smoothies and cycling classes, so where does masturbation fit in? To get clear on the subject, we connected with Dr. Holly Richmond, Ph.D., LMFT, CST. “I believe we should consider masturbation as a wellness practice because sex and self are not dualistic,” she describes. “There’s not my general health over here, and my sexual health over here.”

As Dr. Holly confirms, sexual health is a holistic part of our being. And that doesn”t necessitate a partner. Masturbation is just as effective at promoting sexual health…especially with the help of brands that stand for pleasure and its role in our daily lives, like Dame. Their products, designed to nourish sexual wellness and deepen connections, make it easier for us to enjoy masturbation more and claim the many health benefits behind it. And BTW, there are many.

The health benefits of masturbation.

In order to fully reap the health benefits of masturbation, we need to understand what it’s about on a deeper level. “I prescribe [self-pleasure] all the time,” Dr. Holly shares. “I don’t call it masturbation because people tend to think of that as goal-oriented, and the goal is usually to have an orgasm. Sexual pleasure is also good for us, and that doesn’t have to include an orgasm.” The bottom line is: Sexual pleasure comes with all sorts of health benefits, orgasm or not. So let’s dive in:

1. Masturbation strengthens your pelvic floor.

According to Dr. Holly, self-pleasure helps make our pelvic floor stronger. And while orgasms aren’t necessary, they certainly help. “Orgasms are like a mini-workout for the pelvic floor,” she describes. “When we orgasm, there are these micro-contractions that help enhance our pelvic floor… This prevents incontinence and makes our orgasms stronger.” So the question on everyone’s mind: How do we make orgasms easier and frequent? Dame’s AerTM is a powerful arousal tool that uses thrilling pulses of air to simulate oral stimulation. Designed to take us all the way, right away, consider this one workout you’ll never skip.

Aer™ – Suction Toy

Pom® – Flexible Vibrator

Eva® – Couples Vibrator

2. Self-pleasure boosts your mood.

Most of the benefits that come from sexual pleasure happen as a result of the oxytocin and dopamine released by the body. As Dr. Holly describes, these natural chemicals wash our prefrontal cortex and our brainstem, leaving us with an overall sense of wellness. Along with boosting our mood, the PomTM can help us get in the mood too. Fitting snugly in the palm of your hand, the Pom offers broad or targeted stimulation for more pleasure, with more ease. With five different intensity and vibration settings, it’ll get the dopamine flowing.

3. Orgasms help us sleep better.

“For some of my clients, having an orgasm is something they do at the end of the day that helps them sleep,” says Dr. Holly. For many of us, sexual pleasure is something that deescalates the nervous system, leaving us in a state of peace and calm. Studies show that sexual activity can lead to a release of oxytocin (the cuddle hormone) and prolactin (a hormone that makes us sleepy) while inhibiting cortisol (the stress hormone)—like a neurotransmitter nightcap for better sleep.

Image by BONNINSTUDIO / Stocksy

 

4. Self-touch can help promote the health of our skin.

Exfoliate, moisturize, and self-pleasure…your new skin care routine. The hormonal release that happens with sexual pleasure decreases stress, improves our sleep, and promotes relaxation. Add all these benefits up, and you get glowing skin. On top of that, sexual pleasure has been proven to raise estrogen levels, which can help maintain the youthfulness of our skin. So for the sake of your skin, enjoy extra pleasure with a partner by trying out Dame’s famous and bestselling EvaTM. This wearable clitoral vibrator stays in place during sex to enhance partner play without getting in the way.

5. Masturbation helps us stay present.

We all have the meditation apps and mindfulness books, but we may be forgetting that sexual pleasure is a simple practice to bring us here and now. “To have great sex with ourselves, we do have to be in the present moment, so there is another benefit,” Dr. Holly confirms. “When we’re taking care of ourselves with our self-pleasure practice…it’s going to help us feel more present instead of being in the shame or depression of the past or in the anxiety of the future.”

Make pleasure a practice.

The conversation surrounding masturbation is quickly changing. It’s no longer something to blush about or keep secret. (And if 76% of women and 92% of men masturbate, was it ever really a secret?) It’s important to remember that talking about masturbation means talking about pleasure. As Dr. Holly puts it, “I’m very much an advocate of any time that we’re defining or looking at sexual health—we’re talking about pleasure.” Dame offers sexual wellness products that put pleasure at our fingertips. But they also offer other products, like their Arousal Serum and Massage Oil, which help us turn pleasure into a practice.

“Dame’s sexual wellness products help us receive more benefits from masturbation because there’s literally something for everyone,” Dr. Holly says. “There’s lube to get you started and so many different kinds of vibrators based on your own sexual template. Dame does such a good job of checking all of those boxes.”

The more pleasure we experience, the better we feel—there’s no question about that. But the science shows that more pleasure also means more health and well-being. From better moods to deeper sleep to brighter skin…we officially have every reason to masturbate more.

By Julie Nguyen

If you answered the latter, you’re not alone. Being self-conscious about the face you make as you climax is common, especially for women. We’re inundated with images of what we think we should look like while climaxing. From pornography to pop culture (hello, Meg Ryan’s iconic Katz deli scene), we’re convinced that climaxing is supposed to look one way: head back, eyes closed, mouth open—all without a hair out of place.

Because of this standard, women aren’t always comfortable revealing their realexpression of sexual bliss, and as a result, they’re not experiencing *true* pleasure. Science seems to back this up: According to one study, both men and women who were concerned about their body image had lower sexual arousability and a harder time reaching orgasm. Though insecurities about physical appearance affect both sexes, women were significantly more likely to report greater worries about their looks.

“Women generally express more concerns about this than men,” Holly Richmond, PhD, somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist, tells Health. “And it’s not always just the orgasm face that women are worried about—it’s what they look like while having sex and a concern over their physicality in general.”

“During sex, women tend to be more in their heads, while men are more in their bodies,” she adds. “For women to really enjoy great sex, they need to really be in their bodies for the experience.”

Richmond believes that a lot of women feel this way because they’re afraid that anything other than a cinematic O-face will be a turnoff to their partners. “When you’re worried about what you look like, you’re not fully in the moment,” she says. “I think a lot of women have this anxiety about what’s going to happen and that they might get laughed at or rejected because of how they look during sex—and that almost never happens.”

Ironically, it’s the O-face so many women try to avoid that most people view as a turn-on. One study found that in heterosexual relationships, men felt more masculine and had higher sexual esteem when they fantasized about a woman climaxing during a sexual encounter with them.

“It’s important to know that partners love to see their partner experiencing pleasure,” Richmond asserts. “We see women’s orgasm faces all the time in mainstream porn, so obviously, lots of people are into seeing that.”

So what can women do to become more confident about their authentic O-face? Get out of your head and remember that the goal of sex is pleasure, Elizabeth Lombardo, psychologist and author of Better Than Perfect: 7 Strategies to Crush Your Inner Critic and Create the Life You Love, tells Health.

“If you’re worried about looking perfect while having this experience, it’s like having a present under the Christmas tree that you’re not unwrapping,” explains Lombardo. “It’s there for you to enjoy, but you’re not enjoying it.”

Lombardo agrees that most partners love seeing their significant other in that state of ecstasy. “Depending on how close you are with your partner, you can even have that conversation. Ask them, ‘What’s your reaction?’ Because I would guess that the majority of partners would love that you have this face, because it means that you’re completely out of your own body enjoying yourself,” she says.

By Kasandra Brabaw

Most of the time after we finish having sex, my girlfriend and I cuddle in bed. But sometimes, as I lay my head on her shoulder and wrap my arm around her chest, our post-coital cuddle is disturbed when Meredith’s whole body shakes with a fresh wave of pleasure. It doesn’t always happen, but when it does, her orgasm“aftershocks” come a couple minutes after the main event is done. Sometimes these mini orgasms — at least, we think they’re mini orgasms — happen when Meredith remembers a particularly hot moment. But sometimes they happen for no reason at all.

As much as I’d like to believe that I have magical sex superpowers that create orgasm aftershocks, many other people experience them. Some studies say that about 15% of women have multiple orgasms, some of which feel like one big orgasm with a few smaller aftershocks. But what are they really? According to Holly Richmond, PhD, a somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist (CST), what some people call “aftershocks” are involuntary muscle contractions that happen after an orgasm — just like an orgasm itself is an involuntary contraction of your pelvic floor muscles. The muscle contractions come from the clitoral legs (did you know a clitoris looks like a turkey’s wishbone?), so that’s why they feel so good — and that’s about as much as science has told us.

“What we’ve studied with aftershocks is: Are they part of the conclusion of the orgasm? Are they the tail end of the orgasm? Or are they themselves a form of multiple orgasm?” Dr. Richmond says. No study has come up with a conclusive answer to those questions, but Dr. Richmond is of the mindset that it doesn’t really matter. Whether you consider these extra waves of pleasure as the tail-end of one super long orgasm or a form of multiple orgasms, in the end it doesn’t matter. Because no matter what they are, they (probably) feel good.

So Dr. Richmond would rather we focus on how aftershocks feel, rather than what they are. “I love research and I love data, but the downside of that is that people can get too in their heads,” she says. Women especially tend to focus too much on what’s happening during sex — or if they’re doing it “right” — rather than how sex feels. “I’m telling my clients all the time to get out of your head and into your body,” Dr. Richmond says. “Thinking too much about exactly what’s happening is not keeping us in our bodies.”

Moral of the story: It doesn’t matter what orgasm “aftershocks” are, as long as they make you feel good.

By Sophie Saint Thomas

You know Venus, the Roman goddess of love, beauty, sex, and abundance? She’s a personal favorite of mine, and I realized the best way to pay homage to her would be to not only have orgasms, but have multiple orgasms. (Abundance, after all.) Though it seems practically mythological, experts I spoke with explained that it’s possible to actually train yourself to become multi-orgasmic. And guess what? When I followed their advice, I was able to achieve orgasm after orgasm—and I’m pretty sure that anyone with a clitoris can get there, too.

It turns out that, although penises tend to have a “refractory period” (or, time necessary between orgasms), vaginas are uniquely suited to coming more than once. “Because there is more surface area on a vulva and inside a vagina, there’s more ability for multiple orgasms,” says clinical psychologist and certified sexologist Denise Renye, Ph.D. “Once the first orgasm is enjoyed, switching up pressure and exact location [of stimulation] can allow for more orgasms to follow. For people with penises, there’s less availability for more than one orgasm in a pleasure session.”

Of course, there are also a variety of common reasons—from medications to past sexual trauma to health conditions—that make it difficult for some people with vaginas to achieve orgasm. If this applies to you (and I’ve certainly gone through periods in which it applied to me), fear not: You’re not broken and there’s nothing wrong with you. In fact, you can still enjoy touch and pleasure even if you don’t come, because getting to know your body through self-touch can be a beautiful and healing experience.

With that in mind, here’s everything you need to know about how to tap into your own multi-orgasmic power. It’s what Venus would want.

Find out what orgasms feel like to you.

As stated above, vaginas don’t require “cool-down” time between sessions the way penises do: Not only can they enjoy sexual touch sooner, they can have one orgasm right after another. But what exactly counts as having multiple orgasms? Is it more like three orgasms a day or one super long one?

“Multiple orgasms can be understood as each time the body builds up pleasure and builds up pleasure to then have a grand finale of pleasure,” says Dr. Renye. “Though the level of pleasure as an orgasm goes on may vary from person to person.”

Personally, I consider an experience to be multi-orgasmic if I climax, and then with continued stimulation, climax again without a long break in between. However, much like the words you use to describe your identity, gender, and sexuality, you ultimately choose what it means for your body to be multi-orgasmic. To my knowledge, there’s no official definition of “multiple orgasms,” it’s just what it feels like to you.

“If you’re looking at your watch, you’re doing it wrong,” says somatic psychologist and certified sex therapist Holly Richmond, Ph.D. “I want everyone to have orgasms, but as soon as that becomes the goal we’re almost taking away from the concept of pleasure, right?”

Yes, multiple orgasms are about the journey, not the destination—although I shall not downplay how dope that destination is.

Try to have multiple orgasms through masturbation before you try with a partner.

Regardless of your relationship status, masturbation tends to be the best way to learn what kind of stimulation you need in order to achieve multiple orgasms. “It’s essential,” Dr. Richmond says. It makes sense: With masturbation, you get to control the experience, free of expectation and with only your own pleasure in mind. Though your partner probably means well, nothing tends to kill a building orgasm like your someone popping up between your legs and asking, “Did you come yet?” (Bless their hearts.)

Plus, in my experience, my vibrator and my hands are better at making me come than a partner’s touch, simply because I know my body the best.

The first step to becoming multi-orgasmic—and how I eventually achieved it—is to masturbate as much as possible.

Practice, practice, practice.

This is the simplest recipe for multiple orgasms: Apply continued physical stimulation—such as by hand or vibrator—coupled with continued arousal.

For me, that meant watching porn (here’s a list of some great feminist porn sites) while using my Hitachi wand. After I came once, I kept the porn on and the wand against my clitoris until I came again. When I finally finished, I allowed myself to rejoice in my post-orgasmic afterglow.

Since then, I’ve had multiple orgasms through other means, including my hands and various sex toys. Sometimes, rather than watch porn, I’ll just imagine my filthiest fantasies. The thing is, once you find what works for you, multiple orgasms can become a normal part of your sex life. That’s because, as Dr. Richmond says, your body learns from the first experience. “The pelvic floor is trainable just like biceps are trainable,” she says. “There’s muscle memory. The more you practice, the better you’ll get.”

Introduce your training into partner play.

If you’re in a relationship or enjoying casual partnered sex with someone, try communicating openly and honestly about what it would take to get you to achieve multiple orgasms with them. Better yet? Give them a hot demo about how you give them to yourself, so that they may learn from your masterful techniques. It’s totally normal if they can’t make it happen for you right away, but even just showing a partner how you give yourself multiple orgasms can be erotic and intimate.

But first, spend some time alone and learn what works for you. You come first.