Originally published @ Reader's Digest
Your age doesn’t determine the quality of your sex life. In fact, great sex has to do with many different variables. Research shows, however, that there is an age where people feel the most satisfied with their sex lives.
What age group has the best sex?
The 2018 Match.com Singles in America report—based on a survey of 5,000 singles of all ages, ethnicities, and income levels across the U.S—found that single 66-year-old women and single 64-year-old men report having the best sex. This isn’t a surprise to Holly Richmond, CST, LMFT, a certified sex therapist and K-Y partner. “I think it confirms that great sex isn’t about having a ‘perfect’ body or being young or any of the cultural standards we’ve been fed about what sex should be,” she says. “Rather, great sex is about knowing yourself and being able to communicate what feels good to your partner.” People over 50 have the confidence and experience to embody sexual empowerment translating to better sex, Dr. Richmond says. Small changes like these 20 ways to improve your sex life in one day can help, too.
More research from the University of Michigan also found that 85 percent of sexually active adults report sex is important for their quality of life, notes Carla Marie Manly, PhD, a clinical psychologist and author of Joy from Fear. “Almost 75 percent of the older adults surveyed reported being satisfied with their sex lives,” she says. Another study focused exclusively on women found 54 percent of women find sex more pleasurable as they age. This uptick in pleasurable sex could be thanks to no longer worrying about pregnancy, having more free time, and possibly less work stress due to retirement, Dr. Manly says. Plus, people in this age group have enough experience to know what they want and how to ask for it from a partner, and they might also be wary of how quickly time flies, realizing life is too short to deny themselves pleasure, Dr. Richmond adds.
Younger people can still have a great sex life
On the flip side, Pepper Schwartz, PhD, a psychologist, and Rory medical advisor, says that young people deal with more disappointment in the bedroom thanks to their impossibly high standards. And older adults might embrace their bodies in ways younger people may not as younger age groups tend to focus on body image and “perfection,” Dr. Manly says.
Although sex in your 60s can be “the best,” Dr. Richmond, Dr. Schwartz, and Dr. Manly agree that people can have great sex at any time in their lives. “The more we learn to speak up and are unafraid to communicate our sexual likes and dislikes, the better our sex lives will be, both for ourselves and our partners,” Dr. Richmond says. You might want to speak with your partner about having sex in the morning since there are amazing perks for having sex at 7:30 am.
If you’re not in your 60s, don’t lose hope. “Best sex” is a subjective term, according to Dr. Schwartz. “The most important thing about sex as we age, and at any age, is to have the right attitude,” she says. Lots of thoughts and emotions run through your head while getting frisky, but this is what really happens to your brain when you have sex.
